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View Profile MalFromed
A person just like you. In every way, even.

Bum.

Joined on 6/16/18

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Posted by MalFromed - October 20th, 2021


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Finally! After three months, things are running smoothly!


It's a little embarrassing to admit, but I spent three months trying to fix my computer after a power surge, only to fix it and then mess it up immediately after. So after coming to terms with the fact that I'm a complete dumbass, I swallowed my pride and went down to the computer repair shop. It took them about 20 minutes to fix everything and only charged me about 20 bucks.


So, Lessons Learned™! Sometimes you just have to admit defeat...and pay someone smarter than you to fix the problem.


A whole lot of stuff coming real soon! Best brace yourself.

Yes you (You), the reader.


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Posted by MalFromed - October 8th, 2021


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No more problems...

No more stress...

No more damage...

See you on the other side.


Pour one out for all the tabs that will be lost along the way... (1000+)


Posted by MalFromed - August 14th, 2021


I should probably update my banner soon...


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Posted by MalFromed - June 20th, 2021


The sun has set, and my yard is covered in fireflies. 


I wish I could share this beautiful sight with anyone who cared, but I guess this moment is mine alone.


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Posted by MalFromed - May 30th, 2021


Why was there a fork inside the pipe of my shower drain?


There now rests a giant hairball with a fork in it on my shower floor.


Posted by MalFromed - April 30th, 2021


I have sat around procrastinating for long enough. I've seen a lot of things from all of you, and I've got things to say.


This is a courtesy call. There's a great rambling on the horizon. None shall be spared. I'm the storm, and you're all the paper cups left behind by careless beachgoers, thus by extension making you (yes, you, the reader) careless and unsuspecting of the typhoon of text that is coming your way. Let no one say they were not warned. 


Rambling is an art form, and my cup, it spilleth over.

---

Anyway, my luck has been absolutely atrocious as of late. The second I decide to start doing stuff, everything just seems to fall apart.


In no particular order:


I had a death scare. (Shook me up for a day or two, but I got over it)


Been dealing with a lot of existential dread.


Was guilted into spending a good chunk of money on home repairs that did not concern me, nor should I have to had pay for them.


Got into a heated argument with my idiot younger brother (who I look after) over said repairs.


Learned that my neighbor has become a covid denier and, by extension, an anti-vaxxer.


I also found out that he's trying to sell my folks (who tend to be very gullible) on the idea of not getting vaccinated. 


So yeah, things have been just super!

---

But, hey, it ain't all bad. If there's one good thing that's happened as of late, it's that my art has finally started to look the way I want it to. Which means I'm getting closer to where I want to be. Here's a little taste. 

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I feel like this is a good starting point.

All I gotta do now is to refine it and see how far I can take it.

Hopefully, I'll stop being a punk and actually post stuff.


I also think I'm ready to start studying other people's art styles to help me look at things from different perspectives. 

Better watch out! I might just be studying a-YOU.


As for the things I keep meaning to finish and send to people (my god, when will I learn), it's become overwhelmingly clear that my artistic abilities have improved since I started drawing them up and am no longer satisfied with them. So rather than sending them something I am no longer satisfied with, I've decided to redraw anything that I feel doesn't live up to my current standards. That and I'm a glutton for punishment, it would seem. 


At this point, I doubt anybody even remembers that I promised them anything. It's not like there were any concrete obligations, seeing these aren't paid commissions, just something I wanted to do. But still, I should do it, 'cause after all, we're all just words, and if our words don't ring true, then that would mean we are lies, which are pulled from the air, meaning, of course, that lies have no weight to them. And when something does not have weight, it means it is not anchored in reality, thus is fated to simply fade back into the air from once it was pulled. All this to say, I said I'd do it, so I'm gonna do it.

---

Anyway, these various updates on what I've been doing are probably boring to read. So tell you what, I've got a lot of ideas and concepts rolling around in my skull. Perhaps if I'm in the mood, I'll share one or two with you, just for fun. But you better not steal em'! Or I'mma put you in the basement!

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OH SHIT!

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Also, there's like 20 of you now!? I better get to work...

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No more dropping off the face of the Earth.


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Posted by MalFromed - February 13th, 2021


---What I Wrote---


God damn it's been like 4 months since I've had a drink and I can't draw when I'm drinking but I can certainly ramble. what you don't believe me I can prove it. 


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Hahaha! Given the program I'm using I didn't know it could actually pick up my laughter look at that. Just to watch I'm going to keep it in when I sober up. You know I also say that once you once you start drinking after so long it really hits you hard. Anyway, let's get back to what I was originally going to say (what you'll pick up the laughter but not hiccups?) ((call strength in space closed (closed (I am going back to fix my typos but holyshit this machine) (what you let me swear there but not anywhere else, f*** you) (see I'ma leave that in because I think it's funny. When I sober up I can debate not I want to leave this all in. Knowing me I probably will.) (do you put a punctuation Parentheses I don't know I have dysgraphia I wouldn't know) (god dammit, can't even say . Without it turning into a .) (truly, my life is suffering.) i'm really starting to think I should have eaten something oh well() (I know I'm leaving that is is because it's funny as s***) (my only regret is that I'll be sober when I'm doing it.) (anyway.), 


---The Context---


Oh man, it's been a long time since I've been hungover. I want to say around 2014, but I can't really be bothered to remember. Anyhow, it really sucks, but in a fun way. A nice reminder of one's mortality. Especially when the weather is in the single digits, your heater sucks, and you end up shivering the entire night. Uncertain if you'll see the sunrise. But I mean, hey, sometimes you just have to put yourself through something awful to make yourself want to do better. 


It can be said that there were a few mistakes (small errors in judgment, really) that lead up to just how bad I got it. Let me walk you through what happened, just before and right after the above. 


You could say that started about eight nights ago. See, I ran out of dough to make flatbread, which is what I've been primarily eating as of late. Now you may ask, ingredients or just the dough? Just the dough. I'm well set on the ingredients. I just felt lazy and didn't want to make more. So up to the moment I decided to drink, I had eaten nothing. If I had known how things would have turned out, maybe I wouldn't have been so lazy. 


Now let's fast forward 2 nights. Prior to getting home with my bounty, I was at the store, and I gotta say, just about every one person I ran into was absolutely pleasant. Most of the time, people are just indifferent to my existence. Some people laugh at me, but to be fair, I'm a pretty silly guy. All this to say, I was in a wonderful mood. Why I didn't buy anything to eat other than vegan gummy candy escapes me. What's that? Why not regular candy? Are you nuts? I'm not going to buy candy that's been tested on animals. Ya psycho.


So, I get home, I set the bottles down and notice that it's only 4 PM. You see, I like to set rules for myself. One of those rules being no drinking before 6 PM. Deciding to sleep until the time came, I briefly considered making more dough. After all, it would need to rise, and that would have been plenty of time. But in the end, decided it would have been too much work. And besides, I had vegan gummy candy. I'd be fine. 


If I recall correctly, it was 7 PM when I woke up, and I was ready to enjoy a nice pleasant evening. Now, there's something you need to understand. I don't really bother with beer. It's just not my thing. I'm more a hard liquor kind of guy. I tend not to drink it straight, mind you, drinking is a very expensive hobby, so I prefer to make mixed drinks. And while I could have made a rum and coke, I was still riding high on my good mood and opted instead to make the coveted Long Island Iced Tea. But in my haste to achieve the good time, I forgot to make the simple syrup. My first real mistake. And while I'm willing to admit that there may have been other things that could be considered "poor decision-making by some," in the end, it was my own bad habit of grossly overestimating my own capabilities which led to my demise. I don't mean to. I just like to think highly of myself.


Using "loose measurements," I made my beverage and ate my candy. The first thing I noticed was how bitter it was. While I could have just gone and made some simple syrup, I again, just didn't want to and chose to suck it up. I mean, come on. They say life is, "bittersweet" right? I had the sweet. Now it was time for the bitter. And the bitter it was, as I drank a third of my beverage and felt nothing. If you remember in the last paragraph, I possess the horrible flaw of overestimating myself (more so an endearing character trait unique to me and me alone), so, when 20 minutes past and nothing happened, I started to feel pretty good about myself, and decided to take that third and turn it into a half. It was this exact moment where everything went downhill. Had I known how steep the hill would have been, I definitely would have done things differently. Maybe. 


Anyway, it was after a few more sips, I started to feel a little bit of something and decided to start doodling, only to find that I had lost the ability to draw. I wasn't stupid. I knew what that meant. So, I decided that if I couldn't draw, I could at least ramble. As luck would have it, I had remembered in full my "Pigs Aren't Real" ramble and decided that I would share that with you all (or just you if you think you're special ;]). What you got was the above. 


After getting that far, I immediately lost interest/forgot, and decided to send my brother a message. 


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It's at this point I'd like to say that I made a good decision, but sadly I cannot. I made a neutral decision. What's a neutral decision? A neutral decision is when you decide to take a half and reduce it to a fifth. I think. 


Did you know that when your body heats up when you drink, that's just some sort of sensory illusion? The reason you're warm is because the heat in your body is escaping in an attempt to cool down. With that information, I should tell you about my aforementioned heater. It's a nice little heater. It does its job the best it can. So long as the temperature outside does not drop below 30ºF any lower than that, it starts to struggle. That night's temperature was within the single digits. The exact number I do not know, forgive me. And while I'd like to say that I bundled up, especially seeing as I was already privy to the information at the start of this paragraph, I decided I was too cool for that and continue to wear clothes that made me feel like me. Which happens to be a cheap unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and shorts. On a side note, I do own a silk Hawaiian shirt. That I wear if the mood strikes me. But it just didn't that night. You might be asking why what I was wearing is important to this story at all. If only you knew... And know you shall! For you see...


My kitchen and bathroom are not connected to my bedroom. Meaning, that everytime I need access to one of those rooms, I need to go outside. Who would live like this? Me. Why? That is a far longer and more miserable story. Perhaps another time. 


So, realizing that I may have made a few errors in judgment (it could happen to anyone), I decided the best place for me to be was the bathroom. After braving the elements (a walk of 5 to 10 seconds) and standing in there for about 5 minutes (I think), I said to myself, "I'm no wuss! I'm not going to throw up!" and proceeded to return to my bedroom, deciding that all I needed was to lean back, take deep breaths and just relax. "Everything was going to be okay." Is something an idiot or person with an extreme lapse of judgement would say in this situation. And I'm not about to fill this story with bias. I'll let you (you ◕‿◕✿), the reader of this story, decide which one of those I am.


  • This Part Is Gross


I'll never understand how some people just pass out when they're drunk. Every time I get drunk, if I so much as blink, it feels like I'm falling and spinning at the same time. It's the absolute worst. Needless to say, I wasn't doing too hot in that moment. The whole "lean back and relax" thing wasn't working out. But that's when I remembered something someone once told me. According to them, I would take on a very gray complexion whenever I felt sick. And you know what? I wanted to see if that was true. So I once again went outside and returned to the bathroom. Once there, I looked in the mirror, and sure enough, I looked completely gray. I then took that opportunity to smirk and say, "Lookin good!" then proceeded to immediately vomit into the shower (a second toilet to some). Why not the toilet? Simple. My toilet is covered in a fine layer of scuzz, and the shower is covered in far less scuzz. I don't know about you, but to me, that's a no-brainer. 


Now, if you recall, the only thing I ate where vegan gummy candies. The candies themselves are pretty all right. About what you would expect. But they tasted absolutely foul coming back up. I then looked down at the colorless sludge that was now in my shower and couldn't help but feel I wasted my money. I hate wasting money. So much so if I ruin a meal and that was the only thing I was going to eat that day, I just don't eat that day to make up for the loss of food. The only thing I hate more than wasting money and food is vomiting. Not only are you wasting both money and food when you throw up, but it's also not very fun. 


At some point, I ditched the shirt and shorts. I can't remember why. I think I had to pee or something, and I didn't trust myself not to cover myself in piss. I don't know. Either way, I found myself back in my bedroom, believing the worst to be over. That's when the dry heaving started. All the puking had left me with no liquid in me. I should take this moment to mention I have a ton of bottled spring water in my bedroom. I didn't drink any of it. Instead, opting to return to the bathroom and drink shower water instead. Where I then returned said water to the shower. 


  • Gross Part Over


Eventually, I found myself back in my bedroom on my couch and apparently had found the time somewhere between the last paragraph and this one to put my shorts back on. How nice of me. I then lost consciousness, only for my brother to finally return home from wherever the hell he was at. You see, I have something of an open door policy, more so out of necessity than friendliness. I have a long history of people trying to break down my door for no reason. And I've heard excuses from "I thought it was stuck" to "I just don't like your door being locked." Truly I am respected. So he barges in, waking me up, forgets completely what he wanted to ask me, and leaves. In retrospect, this was actually a good thing, as it gave me an opportunity to toss on some blankets that I had apparently forgotten. And I'll tell you what I needed those blankets, because the second time I woke up, I found myself freezing cold and shaking until I passed out again.


Sometime later, I found myself waking up and feeling just fine. No pain, no hangover, no nothing. And it was great. For the one minute it lasted. The second I moved my eyes, my head exploded, and everything hit me all at once. Do you know what it's like to be hungover on an empty stomach? It sucks. Especially when you have to drag yourself through the elements and actually have to cook something because you own nothing that is quick and easy to make. My body felt like absolute shit for 3 days. Since then, I still don't feel that great. Better than I was, at least.


Despite all this, at least one good thing came out of it. I figured out a better way to work with my, Elmant alignment chart (a thing I'm working on. you'll know about it someday. don't worry about it), so that's good. If there's any lesson to be learned from the story at all, I feel it falls somewhere in between, "Don't run off thinking you're hot shit," and "Make sure to take care of yourself, so you don't freeze to death." And I hope you (you ◕‿◕✿) have a wonderful rest of your day, night, whatever! Till the next ramble (should be soon).


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You didn't read the whole thing. I know you didn't. In my heart of hearts, I know you did not read all of this. It's alright. You're only mortal. If you did however, I'll tell you the same thing I would tell anybody else. I greatly appreciate it when somebody reads through one of my Rambles™. So like I said, if you actually did read through it, thank you very much.


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Posted by MalFromed - January 15th, 2021


Normally I would feel like an idiot. However, this is actually amazingly perfect. MalFormed was suppose to be a joke on myself, and now that I know that it's also spelled wrong, this just makes it funnier to me. Everything wrong with me is summed up in a single non word. And I didn't even know. Amazing. 


Like I said, in the end, it's fine. I was thinking of switching it to MalFromed anyway. It's nice to know my past self was looking out for me. I'ma have to do something nice for that guy... Maybe make his dreams come true? I don't know what he likes.iu_225678_6925526.png


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Posted by MalFromed - January 1st, 2021


iu_218228_6925526.pngIt's time to move on to bigger projects.


I'll probably delete all the old News Posts as they've served their purpose.


Here's to hoping this year will be better. Stay healthy & safe.


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Posted by MalFromed - December 7th, 2020


14 of you.


I'm at a loss for words and that's saying something! It's a powerful thing when you can do that to a rambler.


I promised myself that I would do something special if I ever hit 10. Which is a number I never thought I'd reach... Now I feel a little embarrassed, seeing as I've hardly uploaded anything. Well, I better do something about that!


I'm not sure how often people actually look at News Posts but, if any of you are reading this, I just want you to know that I'm deeply flattered. Thank you. Don't worry I'll try to get my more proper thank you to you all done soon.


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