MalFromed's art Reviews on Newgrounds

[buddy]

The Big Girl Herself.

[absolute bullshit]

"Stare at your thousands of unfinished projects."

You have given me an existential crisis, you PUNK.

Those words paint a very specific image in my brain. Seeing as I'm here, allow me to share with you a ramble so that you may understand the impact of your actions. Close your eyes and imagine this if you will. Now open them back up because it's stupid of me to suggest you can read what I have to say if your eyes are closed. So now that your eyes are open again, imagine this if you will. You're at the buffet called life, your attention immediately turns toward the food, left out for the unwashed masses, such as you or I. Now, the food in question is an obvious metaphor for the opportunities presented to us in life. There are quite a few appetizing options. So with unfound enthusiasm, you stack many a thing onto your plate until you have a small replica of Everest if it were made of food. And you acknowledge the fact that there's a lot on that plate, but you know you. It's no big deal. You just need to take things one bite at a time. Don't rush it. It's fine. You got this. So you head back to your table, you sit down, take a bite and find that what you're eating doesn't quite taste like what you expected it to. By no means is it bad, just different. As you chew, you start to feel full. Which, is impossible. You haven't really eaten anything yet. You wonder if you really are full or if this is just in your head. Now, you could just toss it all out, but if you did that, you'd look like a huge jackass. A loser. So that option is just not on the table. It's around this point that you've begun to notice that everyone is staring at you. It would appear that in your enthusiasm, you couldn't help but tell everyone about all the things you planned on trying. So of course they'd be staring at you. They're baffled about your lack of progress. You made it sound like you were one of those "doers" everyone's always idolizing. But here you are, acting like nothing more then a dreamer. Someone who would be more comfortable with delusions of grandeur, rather than waking up and making those dreams a reality. So between everyone staring and your own self-doubt, you decide to sneak off to the bathroom in an attempt to take a step back from the situation. There's only one problem with that, though. There's still one person staring at you. They're in the mirror, and they seem very concerned and disappointed.

Now here we are at the end of my ramble. A horrible bitter flavor is on my palate. It's taste has left me wondering who I can blame for this sickening sensation. The answer? Quite obvious.

YOU.

Nah, I'm kidding. It's me.

Yeah, it would be very convenient to place one's personal failings on to somebody else. However, there seems to be no way to do that without coming off as completely repugnant.

Either way, I had fun. I hope you did as well. I really appreciate it when people read through my rambles. Unless you didn't, in which case that's completely understandable. No human being with a functioning brain can be expected to read through all this. Not that this is even close to my longest ramble. Either way, I just thought it'd be a tragedy if some random nobody on the internet missed out on one of my rambles.

So, thanks.

Oh, and before I forget. I hope that you don't have a movie poster on your wall in real life. I cannot possibly think of a more toolish thing to have in one's own home. It's like owning a shirt that's promoting a product. At that point, it's not even clothing. It's an advertisement. Some may try to argue that a shirt would be worse. This is a completely idiotic notion. A shirt is something you wear. You don't have to look at yourself. It's not something that you hang on the wall of your most personal domain. You make a conscious decision to say, "Yes, I wish to see this everyday! Just in case I forget that the thing I like exists." Now a poster or shirt that had a reference to something you liked on it, that I can understand. But the thing straight up? I'll never understand. But I guess at the end of the day, all I can offer is a hardy passive-aggressive, "You do you man."

[Dungeon Warrior (Skull and Panic)]

Finally, I can play dodgeball in color! Thank you for this gift, o gracious Just! You may not think that you've done much, but I assure you there is a world of difference between a game of dodgeball with and without color!

JustRaiho responds:

I agree 100% thanks for the comment :D

[lfyslm]

Evil or an Alternative Thinker?

[Early sketch( finish Soon)]

I like the Healer. They look like they could be easily used for dodgeball.

[Woolly Bear]

Ah, Woolly Bears! One of my favorite types of caterpillar™. (Also known as that weird fuzzy moving candy we used to eat as children. ...Not that I did that or anything...) Did you know that you're apparently supposed to be able to tell how long winter is going to be by examining their fur? I've tried it, I don't think it works.

Lexissketches responds:

Yes Ive heard of that legend!

[Eppers]

Yo, where's Noodles' character sheet at?

[Freemancraft]

He looks like he's in pain...

Beatumpop responds:

he's got an itchy nose

[One and Only]

I'm heartbroken to inform you that a hat like that does not exist. I thought surely someone must have made a hat that just simply said "ASS" on it. But alas, I was wrong. There seems to exist no hat that simply says "ASS" on it. You could get a hat that has custom text on it, but let's not fool ourselves. It wouldn't be the same.

So I guess, in the end, you could say... An ass like that does not exist.

staticomics responds:

I've been wanting a hat like that for a while now, if no one is going to make ass box hats I'll make them myself with my boney hands.